Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
