Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
