I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
