I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
