haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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