He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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