Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
