never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
