I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
