SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
All the doctor said was why
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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