For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
