what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
