its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
