I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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