Whats the glycemic index on semen?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
