MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
