Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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