Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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