I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
