Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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