she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
