Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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