I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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