We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
