me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
