ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
