what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
