I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
