I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
