Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

never. drinking. again.

(1-705): View more from Ontario

lets not get ahead of ourselves.

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(310): View more from California

I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

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(816): View more from Missouri

just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..

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(904): View more from Florida

Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.

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(206): View more from Washington

In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.

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(325): View more from Texas

I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?

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