you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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