I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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