i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
