please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
