What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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