Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The Olympian is in my bed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
