C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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