Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
