I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
