Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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