Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
