Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
