I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
