this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I had to cum in my sink.
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