let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
