Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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