I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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