I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
