Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
