your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we made out on top of his cat.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
